The Impact of a Father’s Love: Emotional and Psychological Benefits for Children
“My father is the strongest!” “My father is the fastest!” “My father can jump very high!” These are common phrases I’ve heard from young children as they proudly describe their fathers to their peers. While these statements might seem like playful competition, they reveal just how much children look up to their fathers. The bond between a father and child is extraordinary, shaping a child’s emotional and psychological well-being in profound ways. While maternal love is often celebrated, a father’s love carries an equally important influence, nurturing resilience and healthy development in children.
A Father’s Love: Building a Sense of Security and Protection
Fathers and mothers often show love in different but equally important ways. A father’s love offers a unique kind of security—a quiet strength that helps children feel safe and protected. When fathers are actively involved in their children’s lives—whether through play, guidance, or simply being present—they help build trust and emotional steadiness. This security empowers children to face life’s ups and downs, knowing they have someone reliable to lean on.
Mr. J shared his fathering experiences during one of my parenting sessions. In his children’s primary school years, he was deeply focused on building his career to provide for the family. However, when he finally had more time, he realised his child had already entered their teenage years, and reconnecting with them is challenging.
Though disheartened and feeling unappreciated for his past sacrifices, Mr. J remained determined to rebuild the relationship. He made a conscious effort to engage in small talk and plan one-on-one time with his child. The initial attempts were met with rejection, a painful reminder that, during his younger days, he had often been the one dismissing their efforts to connect.
Recognising that a strong father-child bond is built on a foundation of security and trust, Mr. J persevered. Over two years, through patience and intentional effort, he gradually regained his child’s trust. Today, their family is more deeply connected than ever, and his child actively seeks his advice and guidance.
A father’s love offers an irreplaceable sense of security and protection, shaping a child’s confidence and emotional well-being.
The Power of a Father’s Affirmation
Fathers are often perceived as “men of few words.” However, when fathers offer encouragement and speak with warmth, they help their children shape their child’s sense of self and confidence. Mr. M never fully grasped the importance of affirming his child, as he seldom experienced it during his own childhood. When he learned about descriptive praise—which goes beyond simple remarks like “well done” or “good job” to offer heartfelt, genuine affirmations—he realised its true impact. Though he initially found it awkward, he soon noticed a meaningful shift in his child’s response when he provided more positive attention.
3 Steps for Using Descriptive Praise
Identify and describe the positive behaviour – Be specific about what the child did well.
Connect the behaviour to a value – Reinforce why it matters, linking it to qualities like kindness, responsibility, or respect.
Encourage repetition – Motivate the child to continue practicing the behaviour.
Example: “I really appreciate how you spoke to me just now—your tone was polite and respectful. This shows great manners. Let’s keep practicing speaking this way!”
Fathers who express unconditional love and celebrate their children’s achievements—big or small—instil a deep sense of self-worth and belonging. This nurturing approach strengthens emotional intelligence and lays the foundation for strong, healthy relationships later in life.
Father’s Involvement and Its Lasting Impact
When fathers are actively involved in their children’s lives, strong paternal relationships lead to higher levels of cognitive and social competence. Mr. T, a single father raising two children on his own, struggles to connect with them as they navigate adolescence. Despite the demands of balancing work and family, he sets clear boundaries to protect their time together. He recalls a moment when one of his children was upset, and instead of offering immediate solutions, he took his child for a drive. That simple act of support and presence strengthened their bond. Since that day, his child occasionally initiates these drives, seeking connection and guidance.
Fathers uniquely encourage exploration, foster independence, and support the development of problem-solving skills. These qualities contribute to long-term success in academics, relationships, and careers, equipping children with essential life skills.
The Many Roles of Fatherhood
The impact of a father’s love extends beyond biological ties. Fathers-by-choice—stepfathers, foster fathers, and mentors—can provide the same love and care essential for a child’s growth. What matters most is consistency, commitment, and emotional presence, all of which helps shape their emotional well-being and sense of security.
Cultivating a Strong Father-Child Bond
A father’s love is a cornerstone of emotional and psychological well-being for children. By fostering strong, loving relationships, fathers not only shape their children’s lives today but also lay the foundation for future generations to thrive.
Tips for Fathers to Spend Quality Time with Their Children
Set aside 10–15 minutes daily to uninterrupted father-child time.
Put away distractions, such as mobile phone messages or calls, to enhance the quality of time together.
Take turns sharing one meaningful moment from the day. Use these guiding questions to steer the conversation, listen attentively, and avoid criticism:
– What happened?
– How did you feel?
– What did you do?
– What did you learn?
End the session with a warm gesture, such as a hug or words of appreciation.
Yogman, M., Garfield, C. F., & Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health. (2016). Fathers’ roles in the care and development of their children. Pediatrics, 138(1), e20161128. Retrieved from https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/138/1/e20161128/52467/Fathers-Roles-in-the-Care-and-Development-of-Their
National University of Singapore, Department of Medicine. (2024). The role of fathers in early child development. Retrieved from https://medicine.nus.edu.sg/wp-content/uploads/sites/25/2024/04/0424-CHILD_Evidence-Insight-Role-of-Fathers_FAdigital_V2.pdf
