Raising Kids with Healthy Minds through Social-emotional Learning
Through my work with many parents and children, an often-heard concern is: “My children often lose their temper, cry loudly, quarrel with their siblings, and fight with their peers over stationery. I really don’t know what to do. Do my children have low emotional intelligence? How should I teach them?”
Firstly, it’s important to understand that it is normal for children to have emotions. Like adults, children experience happy and angry moments almost every day.
Secondly, seek to understand the reasons underpinning the child’s emotion. Through that, we will be able to understand them better.
Social and emotional skills are important parts of children’s development. They include motor skills, fine motor skills, speech and language, with both cognitive and intellectual aspects. What are social-emotional Skills?
Social-emotional skills are essentials for connecting with others. They help us manage our emotions, build healthy relationships, and experience empathy.
Why are social emotional skills important?
Among the many benefits of having a healthy social emotional development, it helps children to have more confidence in learning and doing things; manage stress and conflicts; make more friends; understand their own needs and feelings; being able to relate to others.
When is a good time for social-emotional development in children?
There is much evidence to support that early socio-emotional development is important for children, in terms of their health and wellbeing throughout the latter part of their life.
We can use the acronym H.E.A.R.T. as a creative and effective way to help parents in building their children’s social-emotional skills. Here’s how parents can use each aspect of H.E.A.R.T to support their children’s development right at home:
H – Honesty
Model Honest Communication: Encourage open and truthful communication within the family. When parents are honest about their own feelings, children learn to express their emotions sincerely too.
Encourage Integrity: Teach children the value of honesty in their interactions with others; discuss the importance of being truthful and trustworthy in friendships and social situations.
E – Empathy
Practice Empathy: Help children understand and share other people’s feelings. Encourage them to consider how their actions can affect others and in doing so, they learn to be kind and compassionate to others.
Role-play Scenarios: Use role-playing games to help children practice empathy by imagining how others might feel in different situations. This can improve their ability to relate to others.
A – Awareness
Self-Awareness: Teach children to recognize and understand their own emotions. Discuss how different situations affect their feelings and why; this will help foster deeper emotional intelligence.
Social Awareness: Encourage the awareness of other people’s emotions and social cues. Help children understand that different people may have different feelings and reactions to the same situation.
R – Respect
Model Respectful Behavior: Show respect in your interactions with your child and others. Children learn respect by observing how their parents treat people, including themselves.
Teach Respect on Differences: Encourage children to appreciate diversity and respect people with different backgrounds, cultures, and perspectives. This fosters a more inclusive and understanding attitude.
T – Trust
Build Trusting Relationships: Create a safe and trusting environment where your child feels comfortable in sharing their thoughts and feelings; consistency, reliability, and support are key.
Encourage Trust in Friendships: Teach children the importance of trust in relationships; help them understand how they can build and maintain trust with friends through honesty, reliability, and loyalty.
Summary
In the past, children may have learnt these skills naturally through play with their siblings, cousins and neighbours, and having extended family members around who provide guidance while they supervise play. Today, with most coming from single child families, parents may need to be more intentional to provide platforms for play and connection with others, to have conversations with their children, and seize teachable moments.
By focusing on H.E.A.R.T. — Honesty, Empathy, Awareness, Respect, and Trust — parents can nurture their children’s social-emotional developments. These core values help children build strong, healthy relationships and navigate social interactions with confidence and understanding.
